A Final Message
by TheRev28
Summary: The galaxy is saved. The Reaper threat is eliminated. But her Skipper is gone. How can Ashley deal with the loss of the man she loved? Can she deal with it? Can something like this be overcome? As Ashley tries to recover from the loss, a final question arises. Cover pic courtesy of Ladywinde on DA.
1. I'll Always Be Here For You

**A/N: Hey folks. If you're reading this because I'm on your author alert, I'm sorry this isn't the next chapter of WttNF. I got this idea in my head, and it wouldn't go away until I wrote it. I promise WttNF is next. Basically, this is a Shepley ending based on Extended Cut. So that means some very minor spoilers for those of you who haven't played it. But other than that, I'll let the story speak for itself. Enjoy.**

**A Final Message**

_Boldly they rode and well,_

_Into the jaws of Death,_

_Into the mouth of Hell._

Ashley couldn't get those words out of her head. He had said it with such...conviction. She couldn't help but wonder if he had known the rest of that poem. Well she did, and she once again silently cursed him for choosing those lines.

Why? Why did he have to go and do that? Why did he order her back on the Normandy while he kept going?

_Into the jaws of Death,_

_Into the mouth of Hell._

Damn it, Skipper. It's not fair. Ashley once again looks down at the plaque clutched tightly in her hands. She manages to read his name one more time before the tears obstruct her vision. She shuts her eyes tightly, trying to will the tears away, while she brings his name to her heart.

_Then they rode back, but not_

_Not the six hundred._

Not the six hundred, not Commander Shepard. They searched and searched, and she kept searching even after everyone else had given up. Well she found him...at least...what was left.

When Ashley finally searched the area where the Crucible connected to the Citadel, she found a pile of ashes in front of two objects that looked like capacitors. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. It was him. Her Commander, her Skipper...her lover. She didn't-and still doesn't-know _how_ he did it, but she knew in her heart that this was the reason the Reapers suddenly stopped attacking.

It was him.

He did what the Illusive Man only dreamed of doing: control the Reapers. He gave his life to stop them, ensuring that they would actually _help_ the galaxy rebuild.

But what about her? How is she supposed to rebuild without him?

Still clutching his name tightly to her breast, she walks away from the wall of names. She can't bring herself to put his name with the others. Still fighting the tears, she goes back to the room where they had spent their final night together.

The terminal in his room blinks with an unread message. She sits at the desk and opens the message. She's sure he wouldn't mind. The sender is simply displayed as "Unknown".

_To my ever varying Madeline,_

_Now lies the Earth all Danaë to the stars,_

_And all thy heart lies open unto me._

_Now slides the silent meteor on, and leaves_

_A shining furrow, as thy thoughts in me._

_I love you, Ash. I'll always be here for you._

_Skipper._


	2. Put It Down

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know this isn't the next chapter of WttNF, but you write what comes to you, right? Well, this sure came to me. Wrote it in the hour or so in between classes. Enjoy!**

No...no, this isn't happening. It can't be...could it? She reads the message again. And again. And again.

_I love you, Ash. I'll always be here for you._

_Skipper_

He'll always be here for me? Then where the hell is he? How could he send a message like this? How can he send a message at all?

Ashley quickly gets out of the chair and turns the terminal off. She can't bear to read it again. Instead, she goes to sit on his bed. Their bed. Though really it's her bed now. For the longest time, she just sits there, once again looking at the plaque with his name on it. She's not sure when the tears start running down her cheek.

_Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,_

But she knows all too well. Here she sits, holding the plaque that's supposed honor his death, yet there's a message from...him...on the terminal.

_Tears from the depth of some divine despair_

Divine despair indeed. When her Skipper came back to her, she thanked God for such a miracle. When she found his ashes, she couldn't believe that God would be so cruel as to let him die again. And now this? It could only be divine.

Tears still streaming down her cheeks, she gets up to read the message again. The words haven't changed, but with every reading, Ash tries to find something more, something she missed. Nothing seems out of the ordinary.

…

Nothing seems out of the ordinary...

Like a stab to the heart, her last hopes die away in a quiet realization: There's nothing divine about it. It was just an automated message that he created in case...

Ash doesn't remember how long she sat there crying. Minutes, hours, days...it doesn't seem to matter. Her Skipper really is gone. And with him goes her heart.

Eventually the tears stop, but they leave an empty soul in their wake. When God took him from her, it took all her strength, all her training, not to completely give up. In the end, she threw herself into her work, taking risks she never would have considered otherwise. For whatever reason, God kept her alive. At first, she was angry, but then came Horizon.

He was alive.

When he finally returned to the Alliance...to her...she didn't know what to think. She wanted to blame him for leaving her, she wanted to blame God for playing with her emotions, but most of all...she wanted to love him again.

And now he's gone. Again. How does God expect her to keep going? With the Reapers defeated, she doesn't even have anything left to fight for. All that remains is to rebuild. But how can she rebuild without him?

Does she even want to?

…

The gun feels heavy in her hand. She looks down the barrel, into the darkness that awaits. Her finger toys the trigger as she thinks of all the times she's pulled it. Just once more...

The terminal lights up with a new message. She's angry at the distraction...but she looks at it anyway.

_Send from: Unknown_

Numbly she opens the message.

_Put it down, Ash._


	3. Aye Aye, Skipper

_Break not, O woman's-heart, but still endure; _

_Break not, for thou art Royal, but endure,_

She hadn't broken. She had put the gun down. She would endure.

_Remembering all the beauty of that star _

_Which shone so close beside Thee that ye made _

_One light together, but has past and leaves _

_The Crown a lonely splendour._

It was hard, some days. It was hard to remember him, but easy to remember how dim her life had seemed after he was gone.

But he wasn't quite gone. Part of him was still there, both literally and figuratively.

_His love, unseen but felt, o'ershadow Thee,_

From that night on, there was never any doubt that he still loved her. Even if he couldn't physically be there for her, he would always send a message. Those little notes, always so simple, yet always...exactly what she needed.

It had taken time. God knows that learning to live with the knowledge that he had...become what he was...was difficult. Forever within contact range, yet always just out of reach. He was always there for her, but never here for her.

A lifetime spent loving a...a phantom. He was still the same man, but she always had the sense that he was holding something back. Eventually, she had learned the truth: he was forever keeping _them_ in check. That just made her love him more.

Decades later, and she has lived a full life. Her years as a soldier have long since ended, but she's always been a fighter. Even when she was too old to storm the trenches, she found things to fight for.

Now she's on her deathbed, and she's quietly waiting for the end. Most of her friends and loved ones were already gone, and the only one that had ever mattered had never quite been there in the first place. Maybe...just maybe...she'll finally be able to see him once it's all over.

_Till God's love set Thee at his side again! _

Slowly, she closes her eyes, hoping that this end will somehow become a new beginning.

A bright flash makes her open her eyes again. She's almost irritated that she's been interrupted. But then she sees what made the flash.

He's standing there. But it's not quite him. For some reason, he's blue, but glowing with an internal light that appears almost angelic. She blinks a few times. He's still there.

He smiles, and her heart nearly melts at seeing that smile in person for the first time in over eight decades.

"Come on, Ash, let's go. We can finally be together again. Forever."

Ashley Williams, Spectre, soldier, lover, and friend, looks up into those ageless eyes and smiles.

"Aye aye, Skipper."

**A/N: Yes yes, I know this isn't WttNF. That should still be out by the end of the weekend. I just had this idea (and time to kill), so I thought I'd give some closure to _A Final Message_. God knows I never thought I'd write a third chapter to this. Hell, I never pictured a _second_ one when I first posted this story. **

**Anywho, this hasn't been a long journey, but it was a journey none the less. I can only hope my readers found enjoyment in it.**


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